Taking the plunge: part 2

So in my original taking the plunge post I was pursuing an autism diagnosis. By the end of the post I was left with the question of where to go next; back to the GP, private or take a break from pursuing a diagnosis. I chose to go back to my GP.

About a week after I got the call from the mental health access team I went back to the GP with a list of possible places to refer me to that needed a GP referral from the NAS and that were NHS. I felt more prepared this time going in and the GP already had written the referral all I needed was for it to go to a different place. So I told the GP what the mental health access team had said and that I didn’t want to go private. I asked if I could be referred to one of the places. She quickly took the first one and had a look (I put my preferred one on top for this exact reason) and she said that this particular place she’d referred someone there about a different diagnosis, however, they didn’t take outside area referrals, even though on the NAS it says their coverage is UK. Anyway so the GP said she would get someone to call the hospital to see if they do take outside of area referrals and that someone would get back to me in a couple of days.

So I gave them a week and still hadn’t heard anything. Now don’t get me wrong for anyone waiting is difficult but for an autistic waiting is one of the worst things to deal with, even waiting for something like a bus can cause great distress because waiting is time spent worrying about the Unknown. Autistics find the Unknown absolutely terrifying. I just recently had to bail on a friend’s drink plans be chase they said in the message that there might be some of their uni/work friends a thought that almost sent me into a crying meltdown, thanks to mum for talking to me rationally. Anyway back to the matter so I hadn’t heard back so I got my mum to call the doctors, because of my hatred of the phone. So we spoke to reception and they said they were going to speak to the practice manager and get back to me in a week.

So another week went by and heard nothing. Absolutely nothing. My stress levels were at an all time high. I was taking my phone everywhere with me, even to the toilet, just so I wouldn’t miss their call. Every buzz, ring, my heart jumped thinking it was them calling me back. All my thoughts for the past 3 weeks were about waiting for the call from the doctors. I need the answer so much because being in a state of limbo is just distressing. So I then called them again today. I wrote down notes about what I wanted to say and the facts of when the appointment was, when I called etc. I was on hold for about 10 minutes and I took a deep breath and said “I want to speak to the practice manager I’ve been waiting for about 2 weeks.” The receptionist kept me on hold and then said the manager had made a call to the hospital about the referral about a week ago and they hadn’t got back and that the manager was going to put the referral through anyway.

So right now I’ve been told they have sent my referral to the hospital I chose from the NAS list. However, I am a bit of a pessimist and am worried that they are lying to me just to shut me up (though I’m sure that’s illegal or something like that). The important thing to know about this GPs surgery is that they are closing soon (I didn’t know that when I originally asked for the referral). So I’m doubtful about them and they’re likely not to care anymore. But I’ve done all I can. They said they were going to send it so I have to accept that. This referral could take ages so I won’t know for months and months anyway. But I feel better now that I know I’ve done all I can for now. I literally can’t do anymore.

Fingers crossed and now I’ve got to just think about the fact that I’m going back to work next week and that’s going to be stressful enough getting back into that routine. Also this diagnosis is important to me but it can’t be the be all and end all. I can’t obsess about it otherwise I’ll make myself ill. The journey of a formal diagnosis is not over just yet it has just hit a rough patch and hopefully that will be cleared soon.

Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. Peace out!

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4 thoughts on “Taking the plunge: part 2

  1. Hey, glad to hear you’re making progress, even if it seems like just baby steps. The Unknown is really scary, I know, but they probably don’t understand that. I hope you can take care of yourself and be OK for now.

    Liked by 1 person

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