I find it really hard when people don’t do things the way I expect them to do. I don’t like this sense of unpredictability. This mainly happens for me in the work place. So as some of you know I work in a school. Now I chose to work in a school because, as self-righteous as it sounds, I wanted to help children achieve whatever they can regardless of their background, disability, etc. To some people that may sound a bit pretentious in the sense of how I want to make a difference but I can’t help it that’s what I want. So anyway when people differ from these reasons to be working in education it baffles me. Maybe it’s my autistic theory of mind, maybe it’s because I’m naive whatever the reason it can get me really frustrated at work.
So a lot of staff are leaving this school year. As you walk around the school you can tell who they are because since handing in their notice they’ve given up. This frustrates me because I find it incredibly selfish. I’m busting my ass at work and just because you’re leaving you are slacking. I can’t understand this concept. I have an overwhelming need to do the best I can, even though to be honest I’m getting bored of my job, I’m still doing what needs to be done because I’m not thinking about myself I’m thinking about the kids and other staff I’d be letting down. A lot of people check out and don’t follow through with things once they know they are leaving. They allow poor behaviour to go by because they don’t want the hassle for example. But what about the other staff who are still here and have to tackle that behaviour. If you have someone who lets it slide it’s just that bit harder for the staff who need to tackle that behaviour because the student thinks they’ve got away with it. I mean don’t you have any pride in what you do. I worry constantly about presenting myself in the most professional way because I know how hard I have to work to do that and when people just let theirs go so easily it is annoying to see.
Another example is that one member of staff in particular was leaving and they were invigilating an exam with me. Now the experience of exam invigilating is one of the most boring things you could do because you just have to stare at the students while they do their exam making sure they don’t cheat. I quite like doing exam invigilation because it allows me to get a shutdown at work in to rest my brain. So I find it quite beneficial but most people wouldn’t. Anyway this member of staff was on their phone the whole time and falling asleep, intentionally not like when it’s by accident because you are so tired. I was so annoyed because I was providing reading support for one student and then there were three others that needed to be watched and attended to. This idiot was making me do all the work. The students could see him falling asleep and it was embarrassing. It makes all support assistants look bad, in my opinion. That annoys me because the job of a support assistant can be looked down upon and having one not care doesn’t help the overall impression that the students get of us as a staff group. So at the end of the exam I confronted this staff member and said ‘what was that falling asleep and playing on your phone’ they said ‘I have better things to do’. You twat you selfish fucking twat. I said ‘well don’t come to work’ turns out the day after was his last day. Probably asked to leave. He was completely incompetent. But this again upsets me because I can’t understand why you’d not just do your job. It’s not fair on the students and it’s not fair on the staff that you’re letting down, in this instance me. I just find it perplexing how you could just let people pick up the slack like that.
I don’t claim to b perfect I wanted to make that clear because I know that this post could sound like I’m arrogant. This is not my intention there are people who do a much better job than me for sure. Though I do think I do a good job and I’m not going to apologise for thinking that I’m allowed to be proud of myself in that respect. This post was simply about those who constantly force others to pick up the slack. My autistic thinking just can’t understand this level of selfishness and inconsiderate behaviour. I wish sometimes I could do the bare minimum just to give myself a break but I care too much. I don’t think I’ll ever understand this. Though I don’t think I’m the only one. There are so many people who go above and beyond and don’t get the support they deserve because people around them don’t care and will take advantage of how well they pick up the slack. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad I have as much morals as I do it’s just tiring when surrounded by those who don’t share yours.
Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. Peace out!