You come at the most inappropriate times when you are not even invited.
Why are you here? You provide nothing but a nuisance. I try and think logically but you grapple my brain and send it into a spin. I’m beginning to spiral out of control. Spinning around and around. My eye sight is fading and I feel the anger boiling up inside me ready to erupt.
I hate how you make me feel like I’m can’t do anything, like I’m a useless, insignificant being. You whisper in my ear “you can’t do it.” “Don’t even try you’ll fail.” Cluttering my brain with negativity and stopping me in my tracks. Bringing me to a grinding halt making functioning impossible. All I can do is breathe and even that becomes erratic.
You came when I was most vulnerable, feeling the most insecure. That’s what you prey on isn’t it? You wait till I’m at my weakest and grab me like a lion grabbing its dinner. Even when I try to run from you, you chase me until I fall. Standing over me and taking your time to engulf me in your hate filled aura. Suffocating my rational thought.
But guess what frustration you may bring me to my lowest but you can only last so long. Like a cheetah in full sprint you can’t sustain it forever. Lucky for me you’re not as powerful as you think. You may come in a huge blast however, as I’ve said before its short lived.
So let me tell you something frustration you can f*** off! I will not allow myself to get taken in by you. I’m done with you. When I fear you coming I will face you head on. I will tell you that you are wrong. I will fill my brain with positive thoughts everyday so that when you try to rear you ugly head I will stab you at your core with my kind words about myself.
I guess I’ll thank you for giving me this life lesson. But don’t let it go to you head.