Under my mask

I’m hiding under a mask.
But every now and then it slips.
The quirkiness creeps out like a shadow passing by.
Only a glance.
Not for long but it comes out.
Someone spots it.
Questions it.
My mask has failed.
I’ve revealed too much.
People might actually find you under there.
That can’t happen.

I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.
Because people can’t take who I am.
It’s so exhausting.
But we all do it.
Who is ever really themselves?
We all have layers to protect ourselves.
But does that really mean that we are not being true?
Or are we adapting like animals in the wild.
Threatened by our surroundings do we not adjust?
Find ways to cope.
Attacked by others do we not all defend ourselves?
Whether that’s attacking back or staying quiet.
There’s a misconception that adjusting your behaviour is fake.
But we are just adapting.
Autism or not we all have to adapt.
My autism just makes it harder though.

So I will continue to put my mask on.
Everyday I will keep hold of it.
Stuck on my face.
Until I am by myself.
When it is safe to be myself.

Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. Peace out!

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